Thursday, March 05, 2009

The frozen one

I think I may have mentioned somewhere on this blog that back before we started the process to adopt Jen and I (well mostly Jen) went through fertility treatments. There were around 6 IUIs and 3 IVFs the last of which left us with one frozen embryo.


When we started the adoption process we were glad to leave all of the stress of the fertility stuff behind. Although there were new stresses of the ever extending wait but for us that was much easier to deal with that the injections and crazy drugs* from fertility treatments. So we pretty much forgot about all that until sometime in 2007 about 6 months before our referral when we got a bill for the storage of the frozen embryo. We either had to pay $500 to store it for another year or use it. There were a couple other options such as discard it or donate it but none of those options appealed to us. We couldn't use it with our pending referral, so we paid the bill and not too long after we had our referral for Grace.


A few months back we got another bill for storage of the embryo. We didn't want to continue to pay $500 a year to store the embryo so now it was decision time. Based on our previous experiences we were pretty sure if we did use it, it wouldn't result in a pregnancy. We weren't even sure if the doctor would be willing to transfer only one as they usually transfer two to increase the odds of it working. Unless you are Octomom then they transfer 6.....well that is a blog post for another day. So last month we had the (FET) Frozen Embryo Transfer. We went into it this time around with no stress, if it worked that was great, if it didn't well that was OK too. We have our Gracie and our life is pretty perfect right now. We found out a couple weeks ago that it didn't work which was pretty much what we expected. There were no tears, it was almost a feeling of relief and closure on a rough period of our lives. Plus Jen really loves her coffee, cocktails with the girls and her skinny jeans.


So now we are moving on trying to figure out what is next for our family. We want Gracie to have at least one sibling, a Chinese sibling would be ideal, a brother would be pretty cool too. Or maybe a Special Needs Chinese adoption will be in the cards for us. No decisions have been made yet, just talking, discussing and dreaming.


* This is my name for them as they sometimes made Jen really emotional

10 comments:

Jill said...

Hmm, honestly not quite sure what to say......
So sorry for the pregnancy not taking, but excited for the fact that you guys are open to adoption again. Especially SN adoption.
I know that none of these choices are easy, but I pray you guys will do what is right for you and your expanding family!
Hugs, Jill

Jan said...

If we were in your shoes, we would have made the same decision to try the FET. Having gone through infertility with IVF ourselves, I can't help but feel some loss for you. However, we feel very happy and excited for you that there are options open to you. Wishing you all the best in whatever decisions you make!! Sending you our very best regards!!
Jan, John & Jillian Rose

Heather Thompson said...

I would have done the same in your shoes... Having said that, I did just return from China with the most adorable and sweet little 2 yo boy:) His special need was a malformed left ear and he's just amazing! I'll be praying for you all as you decide about how to proceed and the best choice for YOUR family.

Anonymous said...

Hey Jen & Steve,
Well, of course I do not exactly understand all those choices you have to make but in the end it was a good idea to try it otherwise you might have been saying 'what if?' Now you have it behind you and can continue on w/Ms Grace and future plans for her BROTHER-- LOL.. I'd love a girl too but I'd be so happy to see you guys with both- plus I get to buy BOY clothes! love Tammy

MJ said...

No matter what path you choose you'll be blessed and just make your amazing little family more amazing!

Love the blog, love the updates, most of all love pics of Gracie with the little ponytails - too cute!!!

Anonymous said...

Hello, I am a single mom who adopted a special needs(hate that label) boy from China summer 2007. Mattie had cleft lip and palate and he is doing great. I too want a sibling for my son so unfortunately being single China was out so now I am in the process of adopting from Russia. ANy way I to used CAWLI for my first adoption and if you have any questions about special needs please feel free to email me. Good luck with what ever you decide to do. Beth
mattie07@verizon.net

Kristin said...

We're thinking of you guys...and wishing you the very best. Let us know if you'd like to get togther...we're going through some of the same sibling discussions :-)

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to say thank you so much for your blog! I happened upon it while researching adoption on the internet. I am in the process of adopting from China - my husband and I both turn 30 this month so we hope to have our dossier to China in the next few months. I am not looking forward to the 3 year wait but reading your story has made me so excited to bring home our daughter. Grace is so cute and you are such a sweet family. We're also in the process of IVF ( we just went through our first failed cycle). Don't feel like you have to respond, but I am curious if your Infertility struggles feel like a distant memory now that you have Grace...Your blog has really encouraged me so thank you! Marie in MI (mariehalpin@hotmail.com)

Jenna said...

It's so hard to know exactly how to proceed with all this sort of stuff- especially when the wait in China is crazy long. But, I'll be the first to say, having a boy and a girl is really great! Best wishes to you as you think, talk, and decide about the future of your family! It will be great to see how it all turns out for you!

The Gang's Momma said...

Wow, thanks for sharing so honestly. It's a lot to think about, all the decisions that go into building and raising a family, isn't it?! There are no easy answers or easy paths. But I am so happy for you that the presence of Grace makes the other decision easier to bear in its outcome. And if you ever want to talk about SN adoptions, you can count on me! We love to share about our experience.