Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Why does it take so long to adopt from China when there are so many babies in orphanages?

We have been getting questions from family and friends lately about the wait time to adopt from China so....

Why does it take so long to adopt from China when there are so many babies in orphanages?

I don't think there is one simple answer to this one but I will try to answer the best I can. When we first started the adoption process we were told that the wait to referral was about 6 - 7 months. This didn't seem that bad to us but we knew going into it that this timeframe could change. As we were progressing through the process we noticed that the wait times were increasing to where they are now at around 9 - 10 months. We realize that this could increase even more but the time frame could get shorter as well. One of the main reasons we have heard is causing the increase in wait times is an increase in the number of dossiers (requests to adopt) that China is getting. The United States adopted almost 8,000 babies from China last year and this number seems to be increasing each year. Along with the United States, Canada, Europe and Australia, etc also are increasing their adoptions from China. China is also in the process of ratifying the Hague Convention of International Adoption Law. The Hague basically puts policies in place to ensure that the international adoptions are serving the needs of the children first. Basically this means that there will be new polices and paperwork that China has to go through in order to be in compliance. We have also read that the China Center for Adoption Affairs is moving (or has moved) to a new building. Hopefully moving forward the wait will stabilize or even decrease, if not maybe Jen and I can fit in one last childless vacation.

Friday, February 24, 2006


We got some great news today, we have our Log In Date, it is January 5th, 2006!!!!!!! So at this point we are almost 2 months into the wait for a referral. If the wait to referral stays at 9 months we should have just over 7 months to go. Apparently there was some kind of mix up in China with our Log In Date (and about 10 other couples) and they didn't get sent. There were some parents from our agency that were Dossier to China after us and got their referrals earlier this week. So something was definitely awry. Our agency was on the phone with China on Wednesday but China would not give them out log in dates over the phone and said they would fax them out ASAP. We waited patiently through yesterday but still no word. This morning the email came. This is a pretty big milestone in the process because it gives us a definite date to start counting from. When the referrals come out they tell us what Log in Dates that they covered so that way we can tell how fast referrals are coming and how close we are to getting one.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006


So tough to come home to 15 inches on snow and 25 degrees after sitting on the beach sipping pina coladas, but we are back. Jamaica was great, the resort was beautiful, the people were nice and the weather was perfect. We thought we may have to stay an extra day because of Logan being closed on Sunday but we made it out without much of a delay.
Some pictures of our trip......

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Last Childless Vacation

This coming weekend Jen and I are taking our 4th last childless vacation......Let me explain. Three years ago, when we decided we were going to start trying to start a family we decided to take one last vacation. We went to Las Vegas for a week of relaxing, gambling and a little craziness. Then it was on to baby making. Two years and six failed IUIs later we decided that we needed a break before we started the In-Vitro Fertilization process. Our doctor was sure that In-Vitro was going to work for us so we felt pretty confident as well. We decided to take our 2nd last vacation. Off we jetted to Miami and we had a great time relaxing in the sun. After 3 failed In-Vitros we decided that we had enough and after some consideration decided to adopt from China. Soon after this some friends were going to Las Vegas for a joint bachelor/bachelorette party so we decided to go along for our 3rd last vacation. At the time we were thinking that the wait for a referral for Grace was 6 months so we figured we would be traveling to China this summer so this really was going to be our last vacation. Since that time the wait time has increased so it is looking more like we will be traveling to China at the end of this year so we figured we can fit in one last vacation. So, this Friday morning we are flying out and heading to Jamaica for a few nights. We will be staying at the Sunset at the Palms in Negril. The first big trip Jen an I took together 7 years ago was to Jamaica so it will be nice to go back. The place looks pretty cool, all of the rooms are in their own private treehouses so it should be very relaxing and romantic. We will take lots of pictures and will try to post some here when we get back......Ya Mon.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

CAWLI Chinese New Year Party

Had a great time yesterday at the CAWLI Chinese New Year party. Pretty overwhelming with the amount of people that were there but all of the children were just adorable. We met quite a few couples that will be in our travel group. They all seemed like great people. We spoke quite a bit with a couple in our travel group that will be traveling back for their second daughter. It was great to talk to someone who has been there/done that. We had quite a few couples that we did not know come up to us and ask if we were waiting to travel. Then proceeded to tell us that last year they were in our situation, and reassured us that the time flies by and before we know it we will be traveling to China to pick up our daughter. After the party we went out to a local mall to run some errands and were truly disappointed when none of the couples there had Chinese babies with them. We looked at everyone's kids expecting to see a cute little Chinese face. Weird how your perspective changes after just a couple of hours.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Meeting Our Travel Group

We have a pretty busy and exciting weekend coming up. We will be attending a Chinese New Year Party on Saturday that is being put on by our adoption agency. We are told that there will be about 1200 people there so we are assuming around 1/3 of them will be babies and children. We are not sure what to expect as we have never attended a Chinese New Year party, but we assume there will be good food and some interesting Chinese cultural entertainment. At the party we will also be meeting 7 or 8 of the couples that we will be traveling to China with. We have been communicating for the past couple months through email and web forums but this will be the first time we will meet in person. Some of them have adopted already and are going back for their second child. These people will be our support group for the next 9 or so months during our wait to travel to China and into the future as our children grow up. We are really looking forward to this experience.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Reading Up

To help pass the time until we get our referral we purchased a couple parenting books. One of the books is called Attaching in Adoption. This is a book that was recommended to us as some children who have been adopted from orphanages have attachment issues. Due to the fact that these children do not have anyone to bond with they sometimes have a difficult time forming attachments with their adoptive parents. From what we have read so far the earlier the child is adopted the easier it is to attach with them. The book will show us what to look for and some strategies to facilitate attachment if we do have issues. One of the attachment parenting strategies requires the parents to be the only ones to hold and care for the baby, for how long we are not sure, haven't gotten to that part of the book yet. This allows the baby to develop trust for the parents and realize that we will always be there for her when she need us and are not going to abandon her. We realize that this will be difficult for us as well as our families and friends but it will be in the best interest of Grace. We also bought Dr. Ferber's book called Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems. If you saw the second "Meet the Parents" movie, Robert Deniro says he is 'Ferberizing' his grandson by letting him cry. I think the movie over-simplifies and pokes fun at the methodology but it basically involves teaching the child to put herself to sleep. Many of the strategies in Ferber's book are contrary to attachment parenting strategies but we feel that it is important to learn all we can, take suggestions from all of the books we read and do what is best for Grace. Our adoption agency got a group of referrals today. This is good news as the Chinese Center for Adoption Affairs has sent out two groups of referrals in January. Our agency is still saying that referral wait time is running between 8 and 9 months.