Sunday, January 28, 2007

Our new Godson

Jen and I added a new nephew / godson this past week. My sister gave birth to little Jim early Wednesday morning. He arrived a little bit earlier than expected but Melinda, Jim and little Jim are doing well.

Happy Mom and Dad
Little Jim

Tuesday, January 23, 2007


We went down to the Boston USCIS office this past Saturday to get re-fingerprinted. It was a pretty painless process, we were in and out of there in about a half hour. It is getting toward the end of the month now so we should start hearing some rumors about the next batch of referrals. Things have been pretty quiet so far though. They need to get through the last three days in September and since the CCAA was on vacation Oct 1st through 7th there are no families with Log In Dates during that time, so they should at least get through Oct 7th. The rest of October is rumored to be huge. So this means it could take three or four months to get through October. The good news is once they are into October there are only three full months of Log In Dates to get to us.

Monday, January 15, 2007

Playing Dress Up

Sometimes it seems like all of our free time is spent thinking about the adoption. This past weekend we took some time away and attended my company's holiday party. The company I work for has an office in New England and another one in New Jersey. The holiday party is a time for both offices to get together, it is usually held somewhere in between the two offices. This year to make things interesting they decided to make it a costume party with a TV and movies theme. For your viewing pleasure, Jen and I went as Trinity and Neo from The Matrix.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

More Paula Zahn

If you didn't see or read the transcript of last Friday's Paula Zahn Now show on the new restrictions on Chinese adoptions I found a video on YouTube of the show that you can view by clicking here. On Monday we heard that they were doing a follow up. As much as we hated to, we had to watch. They started out the show by saying they had received thousands of letters from adoptive parents and actually read from a couple of them. Unfortunately Jen's letter did not make it on the air. They had two of the same panelists on as the Friday show who pretty much just spouted out the same drivel. One of them , Cenk Uygur, sort of backed off a little and said that he was overbroad in saying that race was the sole factor for adoptive parents. The other guy Roland Martin pretty much said the same thing as Friday and didn't really seem to understand that many people adopt internationally because they don't want to risk adopting domestically and then having to give the child back because the birthmother decides to parent. To balance the two of them out they also had on David Youtz, the president of Families with Children from China of greater New York.. He did a really good job by simply explaining that Chinese adoption process is so popular because it is a clear and dependable process. He finished by saying it is really just about creating families, which, to Jen and I, is really what we are striving for. After listening to him speak, Jen and I sent out our membership form to join Families With Children from China of New England. This is something we have been taking about becoming a member of for a while so it was a good reminder for us to apply to be a member. After watching the show I think the consensus in the Chinese adoption community was that Monday's show, while better than Friday's show, still didn't do us any good and we would prefer that the media outlets just leave us alone. The risk here is that increased bad press in the US toward Chinese adoption could cause China to look unfavorably on us and shut down adoptions to Americans completely. We were a little surprised when we heard today that Paula Zahn was again presenting a segment on Chinese Adoption. This time the spin was: She’s a proud parent now, but if she wanted to do it again, she couldn’t. Will strict overseas adoption standards rule you out too? They interviewed a single parent who has adopted two children from China and now because she is single she would not be allowed to adopt another. She said she was just so thankful for the precious children that China had given her. I think CNN was hoping she would bad-mouth the Chinese government. They also showed some parents at the American Consulate in China at their swearing in ceremony. Jen and I took note of what that room looks like hoping that we will be there really soon.

This week we also got our appointment letters in the mail to go to the USCIS to get re-fingerprinted, unfortunately we are busy this weekend so we will probably be going to get them done next Saturday.

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Paula Zahn

It seems like every couple months the media comes out with a new story that gets the Chinese Adoption community in an uproar. Usually the uproar is caused by ignorance on the part of the media, or by just trying to sensationalize a story. The media seems to really have picked up lately on the new restrictions for Chinese adoptions and on Friday night CNN's Paula Zahn Now had a panel on to discuss the new restrictions. It started innocently enough with a simple statement of the new regulations. From there it got ugly, real ugly. Jen and I didn't actually see the show live but we have a transcript which I have posted a link to here. You will need to scroll about 2/3rds of the way down to find the part where they discuss Chinese adoptions. The people on the show were obviously not experts in adoption, or China so they really came across as ignorant and even racist with some of the comments that were made. One of the panelists is a Muslim talk show host, another is a Law professor and there was also an editor of a newspaper. I think these people were brought on to primarily discuss some of the other issue of the show, it is just too bad that they didn't have anyone on to debate that had knowledge of the Chinese adoption process. Just since 2001 over 30,000 families in the United States have adopted children from China. It is easy to understand that the Chinese adoption community has a pretty powerful lobby. The show aired on Friday night, on Saturday morning the transcripts were posted all over the Chinese Adoption message boards. By Saturday night contact information and email addresses were posted for executives at CNN and the advertisers on the Paula Zahn show and a letter writing campaign was organized. So while I was watching the Patriots beat the Jets this afternoon Jen put her English degree to work and wrote the below letter and sent it to CNN:

Re: Paula Zahn Now Broadcast 1-5-07

I am very distressed over the information presented on Friday night’s Paula Zahn Now. My husband and I have been waiting for a year to be matched with a baby girl from China. The panelists on Paula Zahn’s show did a disservice to all families with children from China as well as to the greater population of people who are unfamiliar with China’s adoption program. Some information was misrepresented and biased to sensationalize adoptions from China. The panelists had their own agendas and belief systems that they wanted to be conveyed to CNN’s audience. However, the primary individuals who the topics centered on—families with children from China and their advocates—were blatantly absent.

Ms. Zahn’s opening with the loaded question “So how would you feel if someone told you you couldn't adopt a baby because you're not thin enough, not rich enough, nor attractive enough?” is intended to hook the audience with thoughts of discrimination and immediate outrage. Yet, China’s guidelines set minimum requirements for prospective adoptive parents. China wants their children to go to homes with parents who earn at least $30,000 a year, which is $15,000 per parent. In my state of Massachusetts, the minimum wage is $7.50/hr ( which means that two parents making minimum wage could pursue an adoption from China. China is looking for parents who have at least $80,000 in net worth. This means the worth of homes (even with a mortgage), cars, possessions, 401k funds, and not just monetary savings in a bank.

These are just two examples of the minimums the guidelines represent. Health professionals consider the BMI of 40 morbidly obese. A person’s weight, by no means, reflects the amount of love and nurturing a parent can provided. Yet, with a high BMI come the associated risks of other life threatening illnesses. The children adopted from China have already lost a family and China wants their children to be placed in their forever homes without the added risk of losing a parent due to secondary diseases such as heart disease and diabetes. A high BMI may be an indicator of these potentially life-threatening conditions. No one know for sure whether a person with a BMI of 40 will suffer these life threatening conditions, however, the chances are increased. The Center for Disease Control has information regarding BMI and its usefulness at their website Also, a BMI is not the sole indicator of a person’s health required by China. Adoptive parents must meet with their physician to have a physical to ascertain their ability to be a healthy parent not to determine their ability to parent.

Furthermore, the general public must understand that we are dealing with a different country that has its own culture, which is very different from our own. Certain illnesses, deformities and conditions may limit one’s quality of life in China but that is not the case in the US or other countries. Therefore, the guidelines regarding those issues are coming from China’s frame of reference, not our own.

In regard to the panelists’ views on Paula Zahn’s show, they are biased toward their own agenda. I was horrified at the reference to “Mommy Dearest” which stereotypes adoptive parents as ones who will abuse their children. That was one movie about one mother’s abuse toward her adopted children. This comment by Sondra Solovay was just one throwaway comment made by many Friday evening. The panelists trivialized and sensationalized the plight of the adoptive family. Roland Martin makes a “porcelain doll” comment which is the exact type of comment that makes the skin crawl of most adoptive families. This dehumanizes and objectifies the child and comments like that perpetuate these stereotypes.

I can speak on behalf of my husband and perhaps the other thousands of prospective parents seeking adoptions from China. We did not choose China over other countries, including our own, based on race, religion or stereotypes. We chose China because of their fair and clear-cut process. We chose China because their infants are healthier on average than other countries not because they are healthier than those in the US, as opined by Solangel Maldonado. Most importantly, we chose China because a birth parent could not reclaim the child from us. On a personal note, although I do think many other parents with children from China can attest to this, we have suffered greatly in our pursuit of parenthood. I do not need to give my personal history here, however, I will say that I am 31 years old and my husband and I have been striving towards building a family for the past four of our five years of marriage. It is not that we wouldn’t welcome an American baby into our home as our precious child, rather, it is because we could not bear the thought of loving a child and then have that child taken from us because the birthmother or birthfather decided to parent that child. The rights of the birthparents come first in the US and we accept that as the policy set forth by our country to ensure what they believe is in the best interest of that child. China also has the right to decide what is in the best interest of their birth children.

CNN has lost its credibility as a news source. The information presented was skewed against people who adopt from China and our reasons for doing so. Many suppositions were made about adoptive families yet no representative was able to counter on our behalf. Frankly, I thought CNN would do a better job of having a fair and equitable panel of specialists. The panelists were outraged at said discriminatory practices of China and parents of children from China, however, they were the ones spouting off biased presumptions, stereotypes and prejudices. It also saddens me that I have to defend my choice of how I want to build my family when others take such a precious gift for granted. They have no idea what it is like to be in my shoes yet are so quick to judge and discriminate.


One Year

Couple new news items this past week related to our adoption. Friday was our 1 year Log In Date Anniversary. This means that it has been a year since China received our application to adopt. When we started this process this was not an anniversary that we thought/hoped that we would make it to. But we are here and it is one step closer to bringing Grace home. I would hope that we are at least half way to that point but only time will tell.

Referrals came in last week as well, our agency received 8 referrals including a set of twins. The CCAA website was updated that they have finished placement of children for families registered before September 27, 2005. That is 19 days of Log In Dates which on the surface looks like a bit of a speed up. But based on the numbers from polls taken on some of the rumor sites this amounts to quite a drop in the number of referrals sent out. Those same polls show October and November to both have more Log in Dates than September so it is expected to take more than just 4 months to get through those two months. The update from the CCAA website is below.

Monday, January 01, 2007

Happy New Year

Happy 2007!!!! We celebrated the New Year out for dinner with some friends and then watched the ball drop back at our place. This seems to have been our tradition for the past few years. We had a good time, good food and good friends. It is hard to believe that we started the adoption process in 2005 and it is now 2007. We are now in our third calendar year of this process. I wish we could say for sure that 2007 will be the year that we bring Grace home. We think this will most likely be the year but just not a sure thing. We expected referrals to come in this past week but we haven't heard anything, hopefully they will be in this week. Not really any rumors floating around regarding how far they are going to go through, hopefully that will get through most of September. I archived the 2006 news on this page into the the link below called 2006 News so that the page will load faster. Grace received a few more Christmas gifts this past week from the NDA girls.