Sunday, November 18, 2007

A boy named Grace?

One of the recent topics of discussion on the China adoption boards lately has been the increase in surprise referrals of boys. It is still pretty rare but some parents that requested a girl in their dossier have received a referral for a boy and it seems to be happening more often lately.

Nobody seems to be really sure why this has happening more frequently but it may have something to do with an increase in Chinese domestic adoption where a family already has a son through birth and decides to adopt a daughter, so there are just more boys available. It may also be that China is becoming more modern and babies are not being abandoned as much just because they are girls so the percentages of boys and girls being abandoned is not so lopsided. When they match us up with a child they do it by agency travel group. So if our travel group is 10 parents and there are 10 babies available in an orphanage that we are matched with and two are boys, then two of us are getting boys.

We originally requested a girl because when we started this process we didn't think it was possible to get a boy. While researching the process we fell in love with all of the pictures of these cute little girls and didn't think about other possibilities, until recently. We picked out a girl's name, named the website after her, we have a closet full of pink dresses and we decorated the nursery in pink and pastel colors. We even bought and installed a pink chandelier for her room. We did paint the room blue though, maybe that was an omen.

Jen and I have been discussing lately what we would do if we got a referral for a boy. I read one story of a couple that asked for a girl and got a boy and asked for a new referral. They got a referral for a girl the next month. Not to judge the decision that this couple made but Jen and I decided that we would not do that. If we are referred a boy, then we will have a son. We have fallen in love with the idea of having a daughter but as a father-to-be I have to admit it really doesn't matter to me. There would be a lot of fun father and son things we could do that a girly-girl may not be interested in. Jen is a little more attached to the idea of a daughter but agrees that we could not turn down a referral. We would just have to return all of the pink stuff we bought and buy things with a more masculine theme. Would be a bit of work but we would deal with it. And of course we couldn't name him Grace so we would have to pick out a boy's name.

We do think likelihood of getting a referral for a boy is really small but the possibility is out there so we are mentally preparing ourselves for it. Returning all of the pink stuff that we have been buying would be a pain but I am sure I would be a distant memory 5 years from now when my son and I are fishing down by the river. Although maybe Gracie will enjoy fishing with daddy as well....


kris said...

Very encouraging that the cultural bias favoring baby boys seems to be changing. girls rule! :) Steve, I'm sure Gracie will enjoy fishing too. the question is whether you will be able to get Jen to join the two of you. ;-)

Auntie Melinda said...

Girl or James will be just psyched to have a playmate. I am glad I am finally able to post a message....last time I could not see the scrambled word I needed to type in- in order to post a message! Glad you removed that thing!!