Wednesday, February 01, 2006
To help pass the time until we get our referral we purchased a couple parenting books. One of the books is called Attaching in Adoption. This is a book that was recommended to us as some children who have been adopted from orphanages have attachment issues. Due to the fact that these children do not have anyone to bond with they sometimes have a difficult time forming attachments with their adoptive parents. From what we have read so far the earlier the child is adopted the easier it is to attach with them. The book will show us what to look for and some strategies to facilitate attachment if we do have issues. One of the attachment parenting strategies requires the parents to be the only ones to hold and care for the baby, for how long we are not sure, haven't gotten to that part of the book yet. This allows the baby to develop trust for the parents and realize that we will always be there for her when she need us and are not going to abandon her. We realize that this will be difficult for us as well as our families and friends but it will be in the best interest of Grace. We also bought Dr. Ferber's book called Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems. If you saw the second "Meet the Parents" movie, Robert Deniro says he is 'Ferberizing' his grandson by letting him cry. I think the movie over-simplifies and pokes fun at the methodology but it basically involves teaching the child to put herself to sleep. Many of the strategies in Ferber's book are contrary to attachment parenting strategies but we feel that it is important to learn all we can, take suggestions from all of the books we read and do what is best for Grace. Our adoption agency got a group of referrals today. This is good news as the Chinese Center for Adoption Affairs has sent out two groups of referrals in January. Our agency is still saying that referral wait time is running between 8 and 9 months.