CCAA June Update

The image below is a screenshot I took of the China Center for Adoption Affairs website as of Thursday. They have finished placement of children registered before June 28th. This means that they got through thirteen days of referrals this month. It is good news that they are processing a few more days each month. Although the wait now is at the 1 year point, in order for us to get our referral in January (1 year) they would need to start processing full months of referrals from this point forward. Not sure how likely that is but there are rumors that May and June 2005 were really heavy LID months and July and August are much lighter. I guess we wait and see. Our agency hasn't received the referrals yet, probably will early next week. The other part of the CCAA website update is that they have finished review of applications that they received before October 31st. They got ours in January so we are about two months away from the review room. Once it gets to the review room it is checked over to ensure everything is in order and sometimes they will request additional information from us. Apparently our application has been just sitting in some office in China for the past 6 months, nobody has even looked at it yet. Jen finished school this week so she is happy to be on her summer vacation. We don't have any big vacation plans for this summer as I am trying to save my vacation time for the trip to China and then take a couple weeks off afterward. We are planning to do a little remodeling on our upstairs bathroom this summer. We aren't doing it ourselves though, just hiring someone to replace the tub, fixtures and retiling. This will be the first major work we are having done to our house so it should be interesting.

Adoption Class

I know I haven't updated the site in a while but there hasn't been much adoption related stuff going on. We were pretty busy this weekend though. Yesterday we attended another adoption class called "Adjustment of Internationally Adopted Children". The class was given by the mother of two grown children adopted from South America. Got some good information to help prepare ourselves for when we bring Grace home. On the way home we stopped at the Samsonite Outlet and bought our luggage for our trip to China. We ended purchasing over $600 worth of luggage, fortunately we had some gift certificates from our credit card points so our out of pocket expense was significantly less. I got my first "Happy Father's (to be) Day Card" and many happy Father's day wishes so that was pretty cool. This is about the time of the month that the rumors start swirling about the month's referrals. All seem to be pointing to a few more days than last month. We should know for sure this week or next.

PTAG

We attended our Parent Travel Advisory Group Meeting yesterday at our adoption agency. It was great hearing all of the travel stories but also a reality check that things don't always go perfectly while over in China. The director of our adoption agency stopped by the meeting as well. This was our first time meeting her and she is an amazing woman, we could listen to her speak for hours. The reason we decided to use our agency is because of all of the good things we heard about her. You can really see the love she has for the children and China. She talked a little bit about the growing wait time but basically told us not to pay attention to any of the rumors because nobody really knows what is going to happen. I think at this point Jen and I are at peace with the growing wait time, we realize that we have no control over it so there is no use worrying about it.

Referrals

We got an email from our adoption agency on Friday stating that they had received this month's referrals. This batch went through people with a Log In Date of June 15th, so that is 9 days of referrals since last month. The number of days seems to be increasing by two days each month. Not a very big increase but at least it is an increase rather than a decrease. People keep asking us when we will be bringing Grace home and the honest answer is we really don't know. If the wait time stays around 12 months like it is now we should be getting a referral in Jan 2007 and traveling a month or so later. But that is IF the wait stays at 12 months. There is no way to tell what is going to happen with referrals between now and then. So, we not-so-patiently wait. I can say we are enjoying sleeping late in the morning spending late nights out in Boston, things we won't be able to do soon enough. Next Saturday we are attending a Parent Travel Advisory Group Training session at our adoption agency. This meeting is presented by parents that have already traveled to China. They will advise us on what to expect while traveling in China and what to pack. Should be an interesting meeting.

Too Much Rain

It has been a pretty rough week. Last Sunday night all the rain that we had been getting caught up to us and our basement flooded. Not too much damage, just a soggy carpet. Some of the flooding was pretty serious in our area. A lot of people have some pretty serious damage, so we aren't complaining. Jen's school was canceled for the week so she went to her brother's in Florida to get away from the rain. I also found out that there were some complications with surgery that my brother was having. Still not sure what exactly is going on with him, hoping to get more info later this week and that everything will turn out OK. Nothing new to report with the adoption. Referrals should be coming out this week. The rumors seem to be saying that this group will include a couple more days than last month.

Happy Mothers Day

Happy Mother's Day to all of the mothers and mothers to be out there. Last year Mother's day was a bittersweet time for Jen. We were in the midst of fertility treatments and were in church on Mother's day, the priest has all of the mothers stand to be recognized and it was so rough to see Jen's pain as she couldn't stand because she wasn't a mother yet. This year there were only happy tears. Even though the process is going rather slow we know that most likely by this time next year she will be a mom. We spent the day today visiting with our moms. We also finally got around to installing the ceiling light in Grace's room today. The rumor mill is starting to pick up regarding this month's referrals, all seem to be positive rumors but they are just rumors at this point so we aren't taking them too seriously yet.

4 Months

Friday was the four month anniversary of our Log in Date. Based on the current time frame we should be about 1/3 of the way through the wait for a referral. Yesterday, Jen and I went to the Peabody-Essex museum in Salem, MA to see the Yin Yu Tang house. This is a late Qing dynasty house that was originally located in China that has been brought over here and rebuilt. You get to tour the house and see how they lived in China. A wealthy family lived in this house for Eight generations from about 1800 to 1982. Should be a fun place to take Grace to someday.

Baby Care Class

I changed My first diaper

We attended our baby care class yesterday and had a lot of fun. Since Jen is an old pro at this type of stuff she let me do most of the work. I changed my first diaper and it wasn't that bad. Albeit, it was a doll and not a squirmy, screaming child with a poopy diaper. There were 6 other couples in the class with us. One couple is adopting domestically, another is adopting from Korea and another from Guatemala. There were two other couples adopting from China, one of the couples is using the same agency as we are and has the same Log In Date so we will most likely be traveling to China with them. It was great to meet another couple that we will be traveling with. In the class they went over basic care and safety stuff. They also explained how to use some of the different types of bottles. Jen has been bugging me participate in the 6 Weird things tag so....

6 Weird Things About Steve...

1. I can't wear hats. They just don't look right on me, not sure why, maybe I have a weird shaped head. When I do wear one I get comment like (if the person is trying to be nice) Oh, Steve, I have never seen you in a hat. This is usually said with a smirk on their face. Or, if they are not trying to be nice.....Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha
2. I have a phobia about things being put in my eyes, like eyedrops. I just hope I never need to wear contact lenses. Probably stems from the eye surgery I had when I was a kid.
3. When I was in college I taught computer classes at a lock-up facility for teenage girls. These girls were there because they were too young to be in prison. On my first day there I saw I girl being taken out in @nkle sh@ckles. Definitely a weird experience. (I had to use the @ to replace replace the a's because some pervs were finding this website through some inappropriate web searches).
4. A few years ago, driving home from Jen's house I hit a guy with my car. He was running from a crime scene chasing another guy with a piece of metal. I saw something out of the corner of my eye, slammed on my brakes then watched him fly over the hood of my car. He wasn't severely injured but they did take him away in an ambulance. The good thing was I slowed him down enough so the guy he was chasing got away. So I may have saved someone's life.
5. I am the tallest person in my family.....and I am 5'-6"
6. My name is Steven King, enough said.

Mail from Guangzhou, China!!!!

We had a little surprise in the mail when we got home today. We got our brown envelope!!! The brown envelope contains a letter from the American Consulate in China confirming that they are authorized to process our adoption. The letter also contains a bunch of forms that we will need to finalize the adoption when we are in China as well as a map of Guangzhou. Some of the forms and the map are written in Chinese so I hope there is someone to help us out. Interestingly the cover letter is dated Nov 22, 2005 so I guess things are a little backed up at the consulate. We were told about the mysterious brown envelope a while back but were warned that some people get one and some don't so we weren't really expecting it. I guess it is not a big deal if you don't get it but it is nice that we did. Tomorrow morning Jen and I are attending a class called Baby Care for First Time Adoptive Parents. Should be a fun little class to get us started with the basics of feeding, bathing, clothing and nurturing a baby. It will be especially helpful for me as I don't have much experience with this kind of stuff. Not really looking forward to changing my first dirty diaper.

CCAA April Update

The China Center for Adoption Affairs website was updated yesterday confirming the rumor that the next batch of referrals will go through June 6th. We were glad to see that they squeezed more days in this month's batch. Things seem to be moving along a little better. Also, we've been tagged. Actually, Jen was tagged but I will probably participate as well. This is a little game that is going around the Chinese adoption websites/blogs where you list 6 weird things about yourself and then ask someone else to do the same, so.....

6 Weird Things about Jen.....

1. I am severely arachnophobic. 1a. When I see a spider I do the slappy-clappy-snappy dance where I stamp my feet and clap my hands in unison while screaming EEEeeeeeee.
2. In my teens I worked as a magician's assistant.
3. I hate mint. It makes me nauseas. Also makes it really difficult to brush my teeth. I need to use cinnamon toothpaste. 3a. Wintergreen is acceptable, however.
4. I hate chicken parmesan. Chicken is yummy. Tomato sauce is yummy. Cheese is yummy. Put them all together and it is the grossest concoction ever.
5. I can't watch people prepare my food. I'm sure I will spot something disgusting and I won't be able to eat. Ignorance is bliss.
6. My utensils can't touch a table in a restaurant without a tablecloth or something between then. These tables are always washed with a disgustingly filthy germ infested rag.
   

Hmmm, seems like someone is a germaphobe with some major food issues. I will post 6 weird things about me (Steve), later in the week. Having a hard time coming up with 6 things.

Chinese President visit to the US

We are expecting that the April batch of referrals should be coming in this week. Rumors are that they will cover people with Log In Dates through June 6th. That would be 7 days worth, not great news but better than the 5 days worth of referrals last month. Seems like things may be starting to move in the right direction. Lots of stories about China in the news this past week with Chinese President Hu Jintao visiting the US. Keep hearing that both sides are agreeing to disagree on many issues, human rights, trade surplus, currency valuation, IRAN and Korea seem to be Bush's major issues. Not sure any progress was made on any of the issues though. Hope the Chinese President wasn't too bothered by the Falun Gong supporter who interrupted his speech on the White House lawn. Have to wonder how something like that is allowed to happen. Jen and I were talking this week and it was around this time last year that we started seriously looking into adopting from China. We've come a long way since then.

Happy Easter

We are expecting that the April batch of referrals should be coming in this week. Rumors are that they will cover people with Log In Dates through June 6th. That would be 7 days worth, not great news but better than the 5 days worth of referrals last month. Seems like things may be starting to move in the right direction. Lots of stories about China in the news this past week with Chinese President Hu Jintao visiting the US. Keep hearing that both sides are agreeing to disagree on many issues, human rights, trade surplus, currency valuation, IRAN and Korea seem to be Bush's major issues. Not sure any progress was made on any of the issues though. Hope the Chinese President wasn't too bothered by the Falun Gong supporter who interrupted his speech on the White House lawn. Have to wonder how something like that is allowed to happen. Jen and I were talking this week and it was around this time last year that we started seriously looking into adopting from China. We've come a long way since then.

Kitty Carrier

It's been a pretty quiet week here, not a whole lot going on. We are trying to keep out minds off the long wait by keeping ourselves occupied. Have been reading lots of books on parenting and adoption. We also find ourselves drawn to anything China related. Last night we watched 7 Years in Tibet. Not really a movie that portrays China in a positive light but interesting nonetheless. Jen's sister-in-law is letting us borrow her Baby Bjorn carrier for the trip to China. Jen had to try it out.....some pictures of the shenanigans for your enjoyment.

This and that

We had a pretty busy weekend, yesterday Jen went out to Chinatown with some of the women from our DTC group. They went to Chau Chow for lunch and then did a little shopping. She had a really great time and it was a good opportunity for her to get to know some of the women that we will be traveling to China with. Today Jen and I went out to Babies R Us and registered for Jen's baby shower. Pretty overwhelming experience (for me anyway). I was fine while we were looking at baby monitors or anything electronic or with moving parts. I was totally out of my element though when we got to the baby bottle supplies. Who knew they make 147 different types of nipples. Luckily Jen's sister-in-law Maura came by and bailed us out. We really needed an expert to tell us what we really need. While we were looking at bibs we noticed a little Asian girl shopping with her Caucasian parents. We really wanted to say hello and tell them that we were preparing for a trip to China but we chickened out. After about three hours of shopping we were exhausted and called it a day. It is amazing how much stuff you need for one little child, makes you wonder how people got by 100 years ago. I added a link to our registry below.

March Referrals

We got an email from our adoption agency yesterday stating that they received no referrals this month and that the China Center for Adoption Affairs has sent out only five days worth of referrals. They are now up to May 30th. This is a definite slowdown in the amount of referrals sent out this month. When we started the adoption process they were sending referral groups out by the month and the groups have gotten progressively smaller. They are telling us that the wait is now at 11 months. That would give us our referral in December. Seems like every month we take one step forward and one step back. Not really sure of the reason for the slowdown. There are a lot of rumors out there, one being that less babies are being abandoned in China. If this is true then that is great news for China and the babies, but we can't help being a little bit selfish and wish the process would speed up for us. There were rumors earlier in the week that there was going to be a small group of referral this month so we kind of expected it.

You may have noticed that there are some advertisements on some of the pages here. I signed up for google ads, so if you click on the ads we will earn money. Not sure exactly how much money we get but it will probably not be enough to pay for Grace's college education.

Jen also went out this week and bought a new rug for Gracie's room at Pottery Barn Kids. Here are some pictures of the rug and the light that we bought last week.

Attaching in Adoption

Attaching in Adoption

by Deborah D. Gray

One of the big concerns with children adopted from orphanages is proper attachment and bonding. Babies raised in an orphanage will not always have a mother at her beck and call to meet her needs and build a loving, trusting relationship. This book explores the challenges that adoptive parents must work through in order to create that secure bond and attachment with an adopted child. The book explores in detail what attachment is and why it is important. Techniques are provided to help parents facilitate attachment and bonding with an adopted child. The book also covers some scary topics that we hopefully won't encounter such as Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and Reactive Attachment Disorder. Each topic covered book is interspersed with scenarios to illustrate potential attachment issues and provide suggested solutions. I have heard many adoptive parents say that if you read one book on adoption this should be the one you read.

The Lost Daughters Of China

The Lost Daughters Of China

by Karin Evans

This was one of our favorite books we have read during the adoption process. Another must read for all Chinese adoptive parents. The book is very well written, almost poetic at times. This is one of the more "feel good" books that we read. The author tells her and her husband's story of adopting from China from the paper chase to coming home with her daughter. She intersperses the story with narratives of Chinese history and culture. She also tries to convey within the book what circumstances could lead a mother to abandon her child. This is something hard for us to understand but a reality for many living in China. Since this is one of the first books that we purchased it has been almost 2 years since we read this book. Definitely another book that we will re-read at some point.

A Passage to the Heart - Writings from Families with Children from China

A Passage to the Heart - Writings from Families with Children from China

edited by Amy Katzkin

This book is a series of essays written by members of Families with Children from China. The stories discuss the joys and challenges of adopting a child from China. Sections include the Wait (we could write a whole book on that topic), Settling In, Development, Race and Identity. This book definitely has a more feel-good vibe to it but some of the articles will be a bit of a tear jerker. Definitely another must read for parents adopting from China.

Wanting A Daughter, Needing A Son - Abandonment, Adoption and Orphanage Care in China

Wanting A Daughter, Needing A Son - Abandonment, Adoption and Orphanage Care in China

by Kay Ann Johnson and Amy Klatzkin

This book is a must read for parents adopting a child from China. This is not an easy read, it is really a series of research papers written by a College Professor and an editor of books on Chinese Studies who both also happen to be mothers of girls adopted from China. Since the book is a collection of research papers written over a period of time there is a bit of repetition but you do get a good sense of how adoption in China has changed over the years. But as I mentioned it is a tough read, most of the book has footnotes throughout which you need to flip to the back of the book to read. Much of the research in the book is backed up numbers, charts and statistics so much of it reads like an academic research paper. The book does a great job in explaining the cultural reasons why some baby girls are abandoned and why Chinese families feel that they need a son. The book also explains in depth the One-Child population control policy and how it leads to abandonment. This is definitely a book that I plan to re-read at some point. This is definitely not a fluffy, feel-good adoption book but it does give the reader a better understanding of the reason why we have our daughters.

The Unofficial Guide to Adopting a Child

The Unofficial Guide to Adopting a Child

by Andrea Della Vecchio, MA, M.Ed.

This was the first book that we purchased when we started thinking about adoption. Going into adoption knowing really nothing about it like we did, we really needed a guide to educate us on our options and lead us through the decision process. The book talks about domestic vs. international adoption and discusses the different programs in Asia, Latin America and Eastern Europe. There are sections on home studies, choosing an agency, Non-Traditional Families and many other subjects that adoptive families work through with the adoption process. Through this book and other research we obviously decided to adopt from China so this book served us well as an Intro to Adoption 101.